ARTICLE

Woman may want out of relationship

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 25-year-old lesbian from a suburban area outside the Twin Cities. It's not easy finding other gay women in this area, unless I visit Minneapolis, which I don't enjoy. I always seem to fall for straight girls or girls who have always been straight but are bi-curious, which never ends well for me.


My current situation has me stumped. The girl I'm interested in is in a relationship with a man. They have been together for a long time and have kids together. I have kept my distance for the most part because I don't want to be pushy or seem like a home-wrecker.


As we have grown closer over the past couple of months, she has told me she doesn't want to be with him anymore. She said she isn't in love with him and she's tired of pretending. Recently, she confided that she can't reach sexual satisfaction unless she thinks about women and she isn't sure what that means. A few weeks ago she kissed me, but nothing has happened since. I'm not sure what to say or do. -NO HOME-WRECKER


DEAR NO HOME-WRECKER: What you should say to this woman is that she's sending you signals that she's interested in starting a romantic relationship, and ask her if it's true. If she says that it is, ask what she plans to do about her boyfriend. If she's unsure, you will then have to decide how you feel about becoming part of a triangle because it could get messy.


You would be better off if you focused on finding someone who is available and clear about her orientation.


DEAR ABBY: I have always made it a habit to keep my home tidy. I'm not obsessive; we just make it a point to pick up after ourselves daily, instead of leaving everything a mess and then trying to tackle it all once every week or two. I suppose it also helps that I am child-free.


On more than one occasion, friends who visit my home have commented on how neat and clean I keep it. Some of them have asked if they could pay me to come and clean their homes. I'm offended. I feel it's the equivalent of inviting me to a party just to serve the drinks. I have no desire to become an indentured servant to my friends. -NOT OBSESSIVE IN NEW YORK


DEAR NOT OBSESSIVE: Why are you obsessing over a compliment? I doubt they were serious, unless they began negotiating your weekly rate.


DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for over 50 years. I would like to take our three kids and their spouses on a cruise. We all get along well, but my wife refuses to go and the kids won't go without their mom. -BEWILDERED HUSBAND IN BILLINGS, MONT.


DEAR HUSBAND: I suggest you come up with an alternative idea for a family outing, or take the cruise alone.