Stuck on the single train


Mt. Pleasant News

Recently, I got a chance to catch up with a close friend I have known for several years. We met while I was in college and have been close friends ever since.

?Deb? I will call her so as not to reveal her real name, is a 29-year-old kindergarten teacher at a military base elementary school with a Master?s degree. She is undoubtedly one of the hardest working females I know. Since Deb graduated from high school, she has been totally independent of any financial support from her family and has worked various jobs to pay for her college education.

Not only does Deb work hard to support herself, but she also has a wide variety of talents that make her an exceptional person. First of all, she is one amazing cook. There is literally nothing this girl can?t cook and in another life probably could have made a nice living as a chef or a professional baker. Beyond that, Deb is incredibly artistic, a peacemaker and is smart as a whip. Her educational emphasis is in special education and she has a real heart for children with special needs.

As I mentioned earlier, I got a chance to speak to my friend recently and while we were catching up on the happenings in each other?s lives, Deb mentioned to me that her parents recently divulged to her that they were confused and slightly disappointed in her.

You see, Deb is a single woman and always has been. Besides a short dating relationship she had in college, which ended when he moved away to pursue a different career path, Deb has always been a single lady.

Deb?s parents are concerned that her life is not totally fulfilling unless it ends with her as a married woman and mother?and they prefer that happen sooner rather than later.

Now, Deb will be the first to admit to anyone that her current relationship status is not the most popular for a woman about to turn 30. You see, it?s not that Deb doesn?t want to date, find the man of her dreams, get married and start a family. It?s just that, according to her, that right gentleman just hasn?t shown up in her life yet. Not to mention the fact that she isn?t the kind of gal who really wants to date a bunch of guys she doesn?t have much in common with or sees no future in just to say she isn?t single.

In all seriousness, Deb is pretty content with being single right now. Her view on the whole subject is that if it is meant to happen, Mr. Right will come along when he is meant to. If not, then she sees her singleness as an opportunity to be used in her community and workplace in only ways that a single woman can be used.

The thing that saddens Deb, and me, for that matter, is her parent?s concern over her singleness at the moment. The truth is, however, Deb?s parents? views aren?t that different from society?s views on being single.

No matter if you are male or female, society puts dating and relationships on a pretty high pedestal. For single people like Deb and me, it?s easy to feel that pressure to date and marry even in our twenty-something years of age.

Why is this?

Truthfully, I don?t know if there is one specific reason that dating and marriage are seen as must-dos for virtually everyone in America?s society. Religious reasons and cultural views are likely a major part of it, but that is likely just the tip of the iceberg.

Here is what I do know, however. Yes, I am single right now. Will I be forever? To tell you the truth, I hope not. I do desire to get married to a great guy that loves me and start a family. However, if marriage is not in God?s plan for me, that is okay.

Everyone has a purpose. God has it planned out for you. For some, that master plan involves marriage and for some it does not. Regardless of what your master plan looks like, it isn?t fair to judge someone or think their life is less fulfilling if they remain single for a good chunk of their life or even their entire life.

Take it from me as a single woman who is okay with wherever her relationship status ends up, following God?s plan for your future is the best way to move forward in the story of your life. Maybe that story ends with you being married and having several kids. Perhaps it ends with you being single and getting to do so many things that you wouldn?t be able to do as a married man or woman.

Wherever you end up on the relationship scale, know that if you follow the Lord, He has your best interests at heart. He, and only He, knows what?s best for you.