It?s beginning to look a lot like winter. Not because of snow, or because its particularly cold or anything, but because high school fall sports are coming to a close, basketball, wrestling and bowling teams are starting to have practice, and millions of people around the country are putting up their premature Christmas lights three weeks before Thanksgiving.
I get it. Christmas is awesome. It?s almost everyone?s favorite holiday?but it?s not mine. I like Thanksgiving. Well, it?s tied for first, but I?ll get to that later. Turkey and football are two of the few pure things we still have in this world. (The college football playoff committee is trying to ruin that second thing, but that discussion is for another time.)
Plus, Thanksgiving isn?t as cold as Christmas, and I really hate the cold. I?m a pretty thin guy. Thin enough to be mistaken for a high school newspaper student instead of the local sports editor at about 65 percent of the events I attend. (I guess wardrobe and facial hair problems don?t help.) So walking outside in 20 degree weather for me is like your average-sized person getting dropped out of a plane into the arctic ocean.
Like any mammal, I adapt to the cold as well as I can. By sticking to the three main winter food groups of pizza, pizza rolls and hot pockets, I can keep myself warm on the inside, and wearing two sweatshirts and a coat keeps me breathing outside. But I don?t have to go through as many extremes in November.
It?s our American duty to love Thanksgiving, and the Fourth of July (that?s my other favorite, I told you I?d get to it). Those are the two most mainstream American holidays, and it?s hard not to love your country on either of them.
Sure, maybe the stories I was told as a kid in school about the Pilgrims and Native Americans coming together to eat turkey and talk about fantasy football were a bit fabricated, but if I just stay away from the internet for a while, they start to feel real again, and those were some of my favorite stories to learn about in class.
And don?t get me started on Black Friday. It?s the worst. People line up for hours on Thanksgiving just so they can get a couple of dollars off of their Sega videogames and Donald Trump action figures, or whatever kids ask to get on Christmas now-a-days. (Probably iPhones, honestly).
I?ve only done Black Friday shopping once, and it was one of the worst days of my young life. Thank goodness Iowa and Nebraska scheduled a yearly football game on that day so I have something to distract me from going to Wal-Mart.
How dare Christmas steal Thanksgiving?s thunder like that. You don?t see overzealous Thanksgiving people asking for turkey on trick-or-treat night. Because Thanksgiving is a modest Holiday. It knows it can just survive on merit, and that it doesn?t have to steal anything from anybody else. (There might be some hidden irony in that last part.)
So let?s all give Thanksgiving the respect it deserves. We don?t need to be putting Christmas wreaths or light-up Santa Clauses in our yards yet. We don?t need to be singing Christmas Carols before Thanksgiving. That?s like going to someone else?s birthday party and handing out invitations to yours.
How about this. Let?s start asking our local retailers to put out more Thanksgiving decorations on Nov. 1, of every year. Nothing says Thanksgiving spirit like setting out a few cardboard turkeys. And instead of wearing Christmas sweaters, let?s all start wearing those Pilgrim hats they made us make in school. Weren?t those uncomfortable? But we didn?t care, because we were celebrating!
Our grandmothers and grandfathers worked hard to fib just enough about Thanksgiving history to make us get excited every year, and since I?ve grown, they?ve also added a football game or two to the schedule. Don?t we owe it to the next generation to show them what Thanksgiving is all about? Merry Thanksgiving everyone!
Agree with me? Want to help make a difference? If you are over the age of 30, please write to your local congressman about your love for Thanksgiving. If you?re under 30, use the hashtag #SaveThanksgiving to show your support.