Fatherhood: Meeting Addison

Addison Lucille Krutsinger was born on Monday, Feb. 5, 2018, at 11:32 p.m. So I?ve been a dad for about 10 days and it?s been pretty great so far.

As a new father, I feel it is my duty to chronicle my experiences from the delivery room to where I am now.

First off, I want to give a huge shout out to the people at Henry County Health Center. They were awesome, and I highly recommend them.

Don?t take that endorsement lightly either because I?ve always hated going to the hospital. They just creep me out. I actually once stormed out on a hospital because they wanted to take my blood and Andy has never been about that needle stuff.

I?d like to report to everyone that my wife Sarah (or ?Mrs. Krutsinger? as you kiddos call her) was a star during labor and is doing just fine. Plus, she only got mad at me two times; once when I left the seat up in the bathroom and once when I ordered a large pizza even though nobody else wanted any.

The actual birth itself was a lot different than I had expected. I was watching an episode of ?Friends? the other day, and Jennifer Anniston was having her baby. She just pushed whenever she wanted to, and I?m here to tell you that is absolutely fake news.  You?re supposed to wait for your contraction to start before you push.

Hey Jennifer, if you?re reading this, I just want you to know you?re a liar and you should feel badly about misleading hundreds of thousands of Americans who watched your show because Seinfeld was on a different channel and they couldn?t find the remote.

I was also a star, if I do say so myself. I refused to help deliver the baby or cut the umbilical cord because that?s super gross but I?ve been told I was a fantastic coach.

Emotionally, I was rock solid while we were in the hospital. It wasn?t until we had gotten home and I was rocking Addie to sleep when it hit me, and when it did, I cried harder than Lebron James after not getting a foul call.

She has been pretty good about letting us sleep, just a few cries per night when her tummy hurts. Nothing a little bouncing on the bed and humming can?t fix.

One game she loves to play is to cry in her crib so I have to get up and rock her. Then she falls completely asleep right away and I gently try to put her back in, only to have her immediately wake up and start crying so I have to get back up out of bed and pick her up again. Daddy?s little prankster.

One thing I did learn that is kind of annoying though: Did you know that all the little beds that babies sleep in are basically called the same thing? How am I supposed to know the difference between the ?Rock and Play,? the ?Pack and Play,? the ?Rock and Pack,? the ?Play and Play,? the ?Pay to Play,? and the ?See and Say?? When I was a kid, we had ?the crib,? ?the bed? and ?the floor.?

Opie, our now two-year-old dog that is kind of a child in his own right, has done pretty well with not being the baby anymore.

With Addie taking up a good percentage of the cuteness quota, Opie has had plenty of left over time to do other dog things, like watch out the window for squirrels and steal my spot on the couch when I get up to go to the bathroom.

That?s all the news I have for now, but I?ll keep you updated with columns detailing Addie?s important moments in life (first at-bat in little league, first car, first big break-up, that sort of stuff). Thanks to everyone for all your kindness over the past nine months!

P.S., you might be wondering how we came up with the name ?Addison.? Well, when my wife and I were dating in college I randomly brought up how much I like the names ?Addison? and ?Clark.? She actually agreed with ?Addison? and didn?t realize until a year or two later that those are the names of the two streets Wrigley Field is on (as any of you good little Cub fans would know). She grew up a Cardinal fan but the name was already ingrained into her brain by that point. One of my most diabolical plans of all time.