DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for a year and have two boys, ages eight and nine. During this time, my ex-husband has introduced three different women to my children and recently introduced them to a new girlfriend he has been seeing for a few weeks. The first day that they met the girlfriend, he had the children spend the night at her place. The woman has a nine-year-old son of her own.
I do not find this appropriate. When I confronted my ex, he insisted that there is no problem with it. How long do you recommend someone wait before introducing children to the person he/she is dating? -CARING MOM IN KANSAS
DEAR CARING MOM: Unless your ex is trying to teach his sons that relationships are revolving doors, he should slow down the traffic. They need to spend time with their father, not their father plus one. Occasionally having a female friend join him and the boys is all right, provided they understand she's just a friend. But he shouldn't have been diluting the time he was spending with the boys during this first year to the extent that he has.
DEAR ABBY: My lesbian friend, "Giselle," broke up with her significant other, whom she met over the internet. They have actually never met in person because her girlfriend, "Samantha," lives in Canada, but Giselle says they were soul mates. Samantha has moved on and now has another sweetheart.
It has been many months and Giselle is still trapped in this bubble of sadness. She won't stop talking about how much she loves Samantha. I kept reassuring her everything would be okay.
After a few months, she became angry with me, and accused me of not being supportive of her trying to get Samantha back. She also accused me of not understanding "what girl-to-girl love is," which makes no sense, considering that I'm bisexual. -TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE
DEAR TRYING: Giselle is angry at you not because you haven't been supportive, but because she's upset her feelings for Samantha aren't returned. This is called "displaced anger," and you happen to be the nearest target. Step out of the picture until Giselle figures out that her romance has fizzled and decides to move on.
DEAR ABBY: My son was cremated as he had requested, but he also asked that his ashes be spread far away from home, which would require us to take a long trip to do. Would it be disrespectful not to accommodate that part of his request? If we did that, we would have no part of him near or with us. -SO FAR AWAY
DEAR SO FAR AWAY: If you feel the need to have his cremains physically close to you, do what will bring you comfort. Divide the ashes, keep some of them and honor his wishes with the rest.